Hope stems from a little red flower

I am posting this today instead of on Friday because it feels like today (for a variety of reasons) we all need a little hope reminder.
What follows is my notes for a primary school assembly which will then lead into an act of remembrance. It is my belief that children have a huge part to play in remembrance, remembering and in being channels for hope, peace and change. So I offer this tonight for all who have been affected by war and for those children who I met back in 1994, that if you are alive and where ever you may now be, you now know peace.

What I wanted to talk to you about today was children, children not just like you but you as well.

You see when I was in the army serving in a war, I met lots of children, here are some of them

They were not unlike you guys, if you look at the photo they were holding cans of pop that we had managed to get hold of for them. Some of them are also holding pencils, shall I tell you why? Because these children had had to leave their homes and schools very suddenly because the war literally arrived in their towns. They had to run with their families to somewhere safer. Once they got somewhere they could be safe they wanted to be normal children again, and for them normal meant going to school, learning and playing with new friends. They were very nervous about being in a new school, because for some of them it meant being in a new town and even a new country. You see these children became people we call refugees.

Now the war I am talking about was in a place called Bosnia and it was 21 years ago. Children though have been refugees for a long time before that, every war causes people to run away to safer places, or refuges, which is where the word refugees comes from. Refugees trust and hope that when they get somewhere safer, the people who live there will care for them, love  them and be friends with them. The pencils that the children are holding in the photograph were sent to me by my old primary school from when I was your age. The children there collected them and notebooks and sent them to me, so that  I could give them to the children I met who were refugees.

Why? It seems like a silly thing doesn’t it, but it was super important; the pencils and notebooks meant that the refugee children in Bosnia could go to school and have lessons; it gave them hope at a time when they were scared and frightened. It let them know that other children cared about them and it meant that the children sending the pencils could feel that they were helping out those refugee children.

Today there are sadly still wars going on across the world. Children are still having to leave everything they know and set off on journeys to places where they can be safe. They are filled with hope that when they get there they will be met and loved.

So what has this got to do with today, remembrance day, armistice day or as we sometimes call it Poppy day.

Well these poppies that we wear are a symbol of remembrance, you all know that. We remember those people who fought in wars to defend us from great evil. But what you might not know is that these poppies are also a symbol of hope. You see in the war 100 years ago, the battlefields were being bombed so much that nothing could grow, no wheat, no grass, nothing except for these teeny tiny little red flowers that despite the bombs and the guns, grew across the battlefields. They gave the soldiers hope that things could survive and grow.

There is a famous poem that starts:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

 That poem was written after World War One. In the fields where the war was fought the only thing that would grow was the poppy. The poppy as a flower reminded people of the importance of life, it became a symbol of hope on the battlefield.

The poem was written by a Canadian doctor, John McCrae, who was in World War One and saw the poppies growing. He worked in an Army field hospital and tried to save the lives of those who were injured. But he also saw a lot of soldiers die. He wrote the poem to tell people not to forget those that had been killed. The poppy inspired people who believed that those who had fought should not be forgotten and they started to wear a poppy at the time of the anniversary of when the fighting in the war had stopped.

But remember what the poppy also signifies, it means hope, the importance of life.

This is where you guys come in, each one of you. For each one of you is a symbol of hope, you remind us of the importance of life. Each one of you has the potential to be a poppy all year round. To be a living breathing symbol of hope. Whenever you welcome a new person to your class, you give them hope. Whenever you do your amazing displays, your class and achievement assemblies, you are a reminder to all of us that you are the hope for each of us. I am pretty certain that each of the 66 boys whose names are on our school war memorial, were each a symbol of hope when they were here as pupils. We remember them today, their families and all of those for whom war has meant loss and pain. But we also look to the poppy symbol as one of hope, and to you as our unique and individual poppies.

I’ll let you into a secret, sometimes us grown-ups lose sight of hope, we forget that things can grow in even the roughest of times. So, how about we remind them!

Hold up Poppy grenade

This is a grenade, a sort of bomb that was used in war. But this grenade is very different! It is full of poppy seeds, I’m going to give it to Mr Thompson and ask him with his team to find a space in the front garden of the school and let it explode. So that in the months ahead not just we here in the school are thinking of the symbol of remembrance and hope but so we can remind all those in Heaton about it as well.

When we go outside today to hold our act of remembrance, we will also be reminding the people who live amongst us, that remembrance and hope go hand in hand, but are led by you, our very own unique poppies.

One last thing, 21 years ago I left Bosnia for the last time, I don’t have the faintest idea what happened to those children in the photo. Sometimes when I am remembering them, I get sad. What helps me, is coming here into the school and helping out with you. All of you. Your kindness and care for each other and one another is inspiring, it gives hope. So from this old soldier to this field of growing poppies, thank you, and may you always be the hope for us all.

Commissioning reflections and wisdom

I have just watched the video of our Commissioning Course, Sovereign’s Parade which took place 19 years ago. As well as the inevitable spine tingling, goose-bump rising from the military music and occasion, I was moved by the words of the inspecting officer. We commissioned in 1997, who would have known that his words would come back to us with the commencement of operations in Afghanistan and Iraq. I think especially of those brothers and sisters of the Academy, who didn't come home and those who came home changed for ever.

Here is an excerpt of that speech:

“Even with the ending of the cold war this is a complex, dangerous and uncertain world. The British Army is what it is because of those who have gone before. The standards they have set, the performance they’ve turned in and in many cases the sacrifice in blood they have made. Never forget that because soon it will be up to you to build on that excellence.

I am quite sure and speak to each of you here, that with the world as volatile as it is, it wont be too long before your ability to command and lead will be tested somewhere in the world, in situations which wont be easy, indeed which invariably will be complicated, sensitive and dangerous, and will require intellectual skill as well as stamina and courage, both physical and moral.

Do your duty.

You’ll make mistakes, we all do.

Always be yourself, if you didn't have what it takes you wouldn't have got this far and you certainly wouldn't have been granted the Queen’s Commission, not to think for yourself or to suppress your personality.

Always be positive in everything in you do. boldness as a study of military history will show, is nearly always the right answer and is certainly the hallmark of a good leader.

Do your duty as your training, your conscience told you, with honour and decency and ensure that others do so too and always carry out the task or command that you've been given at the time with all your heart and the best of your ability without undue fussing or fretting.

Never lose your sense of humour. You’ll often need it, humour is something the British soldier is famed for.”

So, today for me 19 years on from that day, I hear these words, I smile at the memories of friendship, loyalty and honour. I leak a little from the eyes for friends who have gone before me, including Mattie Bacon another former soldier, who commissioned with me. But I do not stop there, for in my own journey which at this time is bumpy and not without it’s challenges, I re-read those words of wisdom and commit myself to continuing to try my very best to live by them. After all if the Queen believed in me enough to grant me her commission, then I must have something going for me.

and lastly,

God knows, we all need a sense of humour, and a military one at that.

Exemplo Ducemus.

Inside school - Chilli Rd Primary School

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Early Years Easter

What follows is a simple re-telling of the Easter Story - it is not theologically or biblically accurate, it is not an academic high brow piece of writing - so all you who may be mortally offended don't bother reading it. What I think and hope it is, is away of introducing the Easter stories to under 5s without terrifying or baffling them.

(Red indicates props, Yellow for questions)

Do you remember all the way back to Christmas? The nativity play, the little donkey carrying Mary, The camel with the hump and some baby being born? Now what was his name, who can remember?

Jesus.

That’s right, Jesus whose birth some people celebrate at Christmas. Some people believe Jesus was a very special baby who came from God to make the world a nicer place. They are called Christians. Other people believe Jesus was a special person who could help people. Other people believe that Jesus was in lots of stories but wasn’t real, and that is just fine as well. We all have our own beliefs and as you grow bigger you will make your minds up what you believe.

Today I’m going to tell you a story that Christians believe is the most important one about Jesus.

Our story today is about when Jesus was much older, we think he was about 33 years old when this story took place. So he was not as old as me but much older than you guys.

One of the things Jesus really enjoyed doing was talking to people, making friends with people that maybe other people didn’t want to be friends with. He was a very kind man. He told people who were frightened or lonely that he would be their friend. He helped people who were poorly to get better. He got food for people who were hungry. And he also told people that were being meanies  that it wasn’t very nice to be mean and unkind. Jesus had 12 special friends he had met during his life, we call them disciples which means followers, some of them had met Jesus when they were working as fishermen, he had helped them catch lots of fish. But now they were Jesus’ helpers, his followers.

Jesus told lots of people that all of them that were frightened or hungry or bossed around by the meanies  that one day soon, everything would be better. Now the people were happy about this but the meanies, knew that meant things were going to change and they didn’t like that idea. They got cross with Jesus.

One day Jesus came to a big town called Jerusalem, he didn’t come on the metro or the bus, but a little donkey, (isn’t that funny because a little donkey carried Jesus’ mummy in the Christmas story). People were so excited because they believed Jesus was coming to tell the meanies to stop being so mean, and they were so excited they cut down the branches of the palm trees and laid them on the road for the donkey to walk on (paper palm), like a special carpet as if Jesus was a King. The meanies really didn’t like that, they said things like, “that Jesus thinks he’s so special! Let’s get rid of him!”

Now Jesus knew the meanies were going to be cross with him and so he had a special meal with his best friends. During the meal Jesus took some bread from the table and he said a special thank you prayer to God and then he said to his friends “Whenever you eat bread, remember me”. This was a way of Jesus saying to his friends when you are scared or lonely, remember all of the things I have said to you about being kind to each other and looking after each other, and then things won’t seem so bad.

Later that night when Jesus was saying his prayers, the meanies sent some soldiers to take Jesus away. They were mean to him and even though he had been kind to people and done nothing wrong, they were nasty to him. Even when they were being nasty to him, Jesus was being kind to people, he told his friend John to look after his mum and he was a friend to two other people that were in trouble with the meanies, telling them not to be afraid but to have hope.

Now have any of you seen the film Big Hero 6? Yes Picture of Baymax

Baymax the big robot is built to help people, as part of the story he and his friend Hiro go to rescue a girl. After the thrusters on his damaged armour fail, Baymax uses his armour's rocket fist to propel them back towards the portal opening, and stays behind. Hiro and Abigail make it back but we think Baymax is dead. I even cried in the cinema when I saw this bit. But, Hiro discovers Baymax's healthcare chip (which contains his entire personality) clenched in his rocket fist, and rebuilds him, whereafter the six friends continue their exploits through the city, fulfilling Tadashi's hope of helping those in need.

In our story today Jesus is rather like Baymax, because of being kind and thinking of others, he finds himself in trouble and his friends believe he has died and they won’t be able to hang out with him anymore. They are really sad and take Jesus to a safe place so that nothing else can happen to him. This place is a big dry cave in a hill, set in a beautiful garden. It doesn’t have a door so they push a big stone across the cave entrance and they go home, sad and lonely…all of this happened on a Friday, which came to be known as Good Friday, which is a very strange name for such a sad day, is it not??!!!

For a whole day nothing happens, Jesus’ friends stay in their houses, everything is still and quiet. Then on the Sunday morning, really early one of Jesus’ best friends Mary, goes back to the garden, she walks quietly up to the big hill where the cave was. When she got there do you know what she found? The big stone that had been used to cover the cave entrance had been rolled away. The cave was empty. Jesus’s body wasn’t there anymore. Mary was totally shocked. She turned around and saw the man who did the gardening (no it wasn’t Mr Thompson). He asked her why she was crying, and when she looked at him, she saw it was her friend Jesus.

Can you remember we talked about Baymax  and how sad his friends were that he had gone? In the film, Hiro discovers Baymax's healthcare chip (which contains his entire personality) clenched in his rocket fist, and rebuilds him, and he and his friends are all together again.

I think this is what it must have felt like for Mary. She thought her friend had gone and she would never see him again, but an amazing thing happened and here he was in the garden talking to her. She was so happy. Jesus told her to run all the way back to where his other friends were and tell them that everything was going to be alright, that he was fine and that he would see them soon. They didn’t believe her and some of them went to look for themselves and just found the clothes that Jesus had been wrapped in. They were all a little bit puzzled but excited.

Do you remember I said some of Jesus’s best friends had been fishermen? Well they had gone back to their boats fishing and it wasn’t going well. They heard a voice shout to them, “put your nets in the water on the other side of your boat”. They did and the nets got full of fish, (just like in Finding Nemo!!) They looked at each other and said, “this has happened before hasn’t it, when our friend Jesus was here.” They looked at the beach and there waving at them was Jesus. Peter one of the friends was so so so excited he jumped into the sea and swam all the way back to the beach, still in all his clothes!! When they all got to the beach, Jesus told them to sit and eat the breakfast he had made them. He took some bread and said those words again, “Whenever you eat bread, remember me”. They were all so happy.

Now though let’s look at that big stone that was rolled away from the cave. It has a very funny shape about it doesn’t it? What does it look like? An egg. I wonder if underneath it we might find, unwrap rock paper to reveal an Easter Egg. So that is why at Easter we have Easter eggs, because they remind Christians that even though the meanies thought they had taken Jesus away from his friends, and even though everyone was really sad, something amazing happened and the stone rolled away showing us that Jesus was alive and with his friends.

Christians believe that all of this happened so that Jesus could show the meanies that there was nothing they could do that could stop goodness and love in the world. It doesn’t matter if you believe in Jesus or God or if you just think this a story, all that really matters is that you are kind to each other, that you look after each other and that even if sometimes things seem bad never to lose hope. Think about your Easter egg and how it reminds us that big stones can be rolled away and show us that amazing things can happen.

 

 

Life will never be the same...Bosnia, 20 years on.

I served in Bosnia from Sep 1994 until October 1995, with the Royal Military Police, first with the United Nations Protection Force (UNPROFOR) and then as a part of the Rapid Reaction Force 24 Airmobile Brigade. The war was still raging there and I was deployed to an area in the north of the country.  The area we covered was populated by both Bosnian Muslims and Bosnian Croats, who were Christian by religion. We got on well with the townspeople and farmers alike. It was almost as if the hatred of the war had not reached this area. We patrolled the streets and supply routes daily, attempting to make sure the much needed aid convoys were getting through to the people who needed them. We conducted policing operations with various factions and we tried to be a presence of stability and dependability in a country in the grip of a violent civil war.

Ethnic cleansing was rife, people in towns across Bosnia simply disappeared; their homes were singled out and then burnt down. Some were taken to camps, others were discovered in the mass graves, others became refugees/displaced persons..

I found myself in a country that was being destroyed through a raging civil war. Where fellow humans had been going about their lives and had then just left, fled, been murdered.

In Luke’s gospel, Jesus speaks about “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.” This was exactly what was in Bosnia.

            “The enemy it turned out, had been living right next door, right down the street. Until just yesterday Bosnians had shared everything, drinking coffee together, going to parties and funerals together, visiting each other, marrying each other, but now…” (Hukanovic, 1998)

But now, now was killing time and when this time arrived it was these ordinary people that had committed these terrible acts of brutality and violence.  How did this make me feel? I had been sent here to protect this innocence, these ordinary people, yet I had been killing time in a secure compound when the slaughter had happened.

 

Wave after wave of emotion ran through me during those months, even now twenty years later, I find it hard to express honestly the horror that ethnic cleansing is.

Professor Norman Cigar is a military analyst who wrote          “Overall, ethnic cleansing seems to have followed a premeditated strategy, rather than being an improvisation arising from unfolding events.” (Cigar, 1995)

If as Cigar suggests that this slaughter and cleansing was premeditated, then did it not show that these ordinary people already had an intrinsic ability to commit terrible violence towards other humans. If this was true, how could the God I know and love have allowed this to happen? Stories and images from British Forces operations in the country came to mind. Acts of Christian kindness by British soldiers who professed to have no faith. They patrolled the aid routes and stood guard over the bread queues. These images came back to me and helped me to remember that in the midst of this inhumanity were people exercising free will given by God, to love their neighbour.

So, ordinary people could commit terrible violence and soldiers could carry out acts of humanity. As a peacekeeper and soldier I felt useless, angry and helpless simultaneously. I have come to understand that such anger once stoked can make any human capable of violence and sin. Continuing this thought process, we would be leaving Bosnia when our tour of duty was completed but Bosnian survivors would not and how would they deal with the feelings we all had.

            “Most wars feed on hate, and the masters of war know how to manufacture it well. It is the proportions of the Balkan hate and its rawness right there on the fringes of what some thought to be civilised Europe that causes us to stagger.” (Volf. 1992)
 

Peace enforcement in Bosnia has been in place since late 1995. However peace is not there. The whole of the Balkans is a bubbling pot of emotion, hatred and anger, this is all too evident in the footage and reports which continue to come out of the Balkans.  Hukanovic a survivor of the death camps of Bosnia closes his autobiography with, “Lord, may you never forgive them.” (Hukanovic, 1998:163)

But I am not a Bosnian, I was a stranger seemingly killing time in a foreign land, so how have I dealt with my experiences and my feelings.

I have used scripture and secular writing to help me find God in those places and memories of human evilness. The writings of Corrie ten Bloom and Eva Schloss both survivors of the Nazi concentration camps, have enabled me to reconcile some of my feelings of anger. Anger towards those ordinary people who committed such evil and towards the mandate we as peace keepers were working under which did not allow us to launch offensive operations. I have gradually ceased to be as angry with God. Earlier in this reflection I wrote about British soldiers showing compassion and love to their ‘neighbours’. I began to understand that God was there, in those soldiers and in the aid workers who were prepared to and in some instances did, lay down their lives for their ‘neighbours’.

 Gustavo Gutierrez cited in the Cambridge Companion to Liberation Theology states that, “liberation theology has its origins in the reality of the ‘premature and unjust death of many people’”. (Rowland, 2007:3) I have learnt that my theology, my beliefs and values were radically shaped by my experiences in Bosnia. Prior to my tours there, my faith was naïve. I did not have any comprehension about the true extent of humankind’s ability to commit terrible sin. Now I do and because of this I now holdfast to a creed that says all people are equal and valued by God.

 Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Eph 4:1) I believe I received my calling on the blood soaked streets of Bosnia, a calling to defend and speak for those who cannot defend themselves, to see God in all people regardless of religion, ethnicity, gender or sexuality. I am no saint, I still struggle with my anger not always using it to effect change or righteously but by hurting people. I have learnt to reflect on the implications that my anger can have, I have learnt that reconciliation is crucial in this world. I have learnt that an ordinary person has the ability to influence this world; that we neither need to make a time to kill, nor kill time whilst atrocities are happening but through prayer and action we can bring about change.

To do so requires courage, the composer of Psalms 46 comments that bows must be broken and spears shattered[1]. The prophet Micah calls for the remoulding of weaponry into tools of agriculture[2]. These actions require someone to undertake them, they won’t happen by themselves. The German theologian Moltmann, himself a prisoner of war during the 1939- 1945 war, said, “Top level discussions between privileged persons usually do very little to relieve the suffering of ordinary people.”[3]

Jesus himself preached and undertook radical action to encourage and demonstrate that justice has to come from the people[4]. Mahatma Ghandi once said, “be the change you want to see in the world” [5]  and Volf a Croatian theologian wrote, “the kingdom of God enters the world through the back door of servants’ shacks, not through the main gate of the masters’ mansions”.[6] We are called and ordered to undertake and act for justice. And that is what my faith is about today.

 It is about standing up for what you believe to be right, even if it seems to cost you everything. It is about placing yourself between the bully and the bullied even if this makes you the target. My faith isn’t perfect, there are dark times when I find it hard to conceive there is a God, let alone believe in it/him/her. These are normally times when I am facing the bizarreness of first world living, when people become so bound up in doctrine and dogma that they forget the golden rule – To do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. When politicians, faith leaders and the press can become so obsessed with their own agendas (which to be fair is quite often all about keeping the thinking person in a box and thus not questioning what the leadership are up to) that they fail to see the world beyond their own briefcase or prayer book or paper. Likewise those who sit in the pews and are only concerned with the bricks around them are no better. Yes there is a place for our own needs, but surely issues about who sleeps with who, or if a child can receive communion before some man in purple says so, are irrelevant if the world we live in is teetering on the brink of a war that will take thousands of lives, a climate disaster that may see millions displaced and new diseases that are effectively a plague time bomb.

 

I recently preached a short sermon that included these words, "in Christianity the practical definition of love is best summarised by Thomas Aquinas, who defined love as "to will the good of another," or to desire for another to succeed. This is the explanation of the Christian need to love others, including their enemies. As Thomas Aquinas explains, Christian love is motivated by the need to see others succeed in life, to be good people."
And thinking about those vivid experiences of twenty years ago and some since then, I come to the conclusion tonight that, yes "to will the good of another" is where I am at. On this Sunday in September as people mourn those murdered this day, as others await the referendum on Thursday, I am thankful for those I served with for both guiding me and being alongside me. I think of those who were slaughtered in the genocide of twenty years ago and since in wars and conflicts around this globe and I reaffirm my commitment to the creed I believe in, that all people are equal, even if this means  I will be in exile and excluded by some.

---

[1] Ps 46:9

[2] Micah 4:3

[3] Selvanayagam, I (1995:3). A Dialogue on Dialogue: Reflections on Interfaith Encounters. Madras, CLS Press.

[4] Lk 4:16-30

[5] Indian Philosopher 1869 -1948

[6] Volf, M (1996:114). Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness, and Reconciliation. Nashville, Abingdon Press.

A bit of a fixer-upper

This is an adaptation of the short reflection I gave this morning at chapel. Sadly the Frozen reference wouldn’t have worked with the congregational age range today so I left it out. However - who else has managed to work Trolls and Thomas Aquinas into a sermon!!




Romans 13:8-10

8Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” 10Love does no wrong to a neighbour; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.



Love is such a powerful word that has so many connotations and meanings. It can be a force for good and a means by which great deeds are done. Yet sometimes it feels so hard to love people particularly when we are in pain or frightened. Here in the hospital we are quite often thrown together with people who become our neighbours quite simply because of where our bed is or because we share an illness. And the call to love your neighbour as yourself can seem just a step too far when you are out of your comfort zone and away from those who love you. Yet it is in these times and in situations we can truly fulfill the law that St Paul was talking about in today’s reading.




Likewise there are times when we are out of our comfort zone that loving someone is not so much a fulfillment of the law but that which just comes naturally. I think of soldiers I served with during the war in Bosnia who acted with such love and compassion for those we were trying to protect. A love that could potentially have cost the soldiers their lives. I think of those here in this hospital who despite their own pain and fear, show love to the young doctor or newly qualified nurse, the patient who has no family who for the time they are on the ward becomes a part of another patient’s family, included in visits and deliveries of sweets or newspapers.




In Christianity the practical definition of love is best summarised by St. Thomas Aquinas, who defined love as "to will the good of another," or to desire for another to succeed. This is the explanation of the Christian need to love others, including their enemies. As Thomas Aquinas explains, Christian love is motivated by the need to see others succeed in life, to be good people.




I think there is no finer way to sum up all of the above than in the wise words of the Trolls of Arendelle…






We’re not sayin' you can change him
‘Cause people don’t really change
We’re only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange
People make bad choices if they’re mad
Or scared, or stressed
Throw a little love their way
(Throw a little love their way)
And you’ll bring out their best
True love brings out their best!

Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper
That’s what it’s all about!
Father!
Sister!
Brother!
We need each other
To raise us up and round us out
Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper
But when push comes to shove

The only fixer-upper fixer
That can fix up a fixer-upper is

True! true!
True, true, true!
Love (True love)
Love, love, love, love, love
Love! (True love!)
True...




No matter why we are in this chapel today, each one of us, no matter of our ills, worries or fears, has the potential to fulfill each day that most important of laws, to love one another. For it is in this way each of us will bring love to this world, this place and to and for one another.

Wanted someone not gay/bi or straight, neigher lay or ordained, enquiries within!

I posted a status on Facebook which seemed to have galvanised the troops into a series of responses -

"Dr W has said very strongly that I need to talk to someone about my disintegrating faith & my broken heartedness about all things vocation. But she has also clearly stated the someone should not be gay/straight/bi, neither ordained nor lay, and definitely no one I'm likely to snot if they mean to me. Does anyone here translate spaniel as Poppy seems my best bet!"


Thanks troops you all very lovely, if not slightly bonkers. The main point of my status was the hilarity which Dr W's requirements caused. However on a serious note thank you for the lovely messages. I have a fantastic spiritual director who I trust immeasurably and a great team leader at work. My frustrations with the church denominations will, I have no doubt continue ad infinitum. A church which markets itself as the church of the state, should in my humble opinion play by the rules, or in this case The Law as we in the real world like to call it. But hey as it has successfully discriminated against women for a few hundred years, who knows how long it will be before us weather causing, genocide raising gays are allowed to ooh I don't know, not break the law of the land and get married in a church.

 As for getting married and being a vicarette well, the bookies have better odds of me being elected president of Russia. Them on t'other side of the coin who are obsessed in worshiping gay instead of God are not any better, but to be honest and here is the crux of the whole thing - kids are being slaughtered across this globe as I sit here typing this wittering. They are being blown apart and those that survive the bombs and missiles will I imagine die a slow death from infection because with no electricity or fresh water there will be no way of sterilising equipment and storing drugs. But hey who cares about that sort of thing when the civilised (and I use that term very loosely) world can pull each other to pieces about who sleeps with who in their own beds.

If I thought for one instance that people would stop killing children across the globe if I didn't share my be with the lovely Dr W, I would say fine, bunk beds it is! But that is never going to happen because people are slaughtering kids because of many things not because of who I choose to love. However as a loving couple we can give so much back to a world of hate and pain,


we can be the ripple makers in this world and be a part of something that says it doesn't matter who you are, or what you believe, we are human and we are humanity in the flesh.

A final thought (stolen ruthlessly from my boss at work): Everyone has spiritual experiences, for everyone is spiritual. Some people then go on to make a religion out of these experiences. Very understandable. Tidies them up. Puts them in a box. Instead of saying, "Here are my experiences" they say "Here is my religion." All boxed and sorted. The trouble with boxes, however, is that they tend to be airless and things inside get stale. Religions can very easily become boxes, and places of airless decay. You are spiritual. May religion serve you. Not kill you.